Finding Mary Poppins
Well, this stage of finding and selecting the best nanny for baby Clover isn’t very supercalifragilistic I must say. And not because the nannies aren’t up for the job, but from an emotional point of view, it’s tough. It cost me one or two sleepless nights (and a good cry), thinking that my 10 months old will spend most of her day with somebody else. Someone I don’t know, but must trust.
Luckily, there is plenty of time for us to decide and also a transition period, so that my little one can have enough time to get used to her new “friend”. Most probably this transition period is beneficial for me too. It’s hard to let go, that’s for sure. Yet it is inevitable, it’s the course of life. The risk of co-dependency is bilateral and it’s detrimental for both of us.
My daughter needs to understand, and I need to accept this without any trace of guilt, that we are both entitled to have separate parts of our lives (in my case a career) without affecting in any way, our very special bond. That’s to say, we have the liberty and independence to cultivate different interactions and relations outside our own relationship.
So, I decided to talk things trough with my daughter explaining her in simple words that mommy will soon return to work and that she will get a new lady friend, who will take care of her and play with her and take her to the park. I even said to her that we should welcome this new person into our lives as a new family member, whom we are lucky to choose ourselves, so I count on her opinion to make the right choice.
We always had this approach: my husband and I constantly talk to our daughter about aspects that have an impact on our family life, on our health condition or simple household changes or arrangements. I find it utmost important to confide in our little ones and treat them as miniature adults. It’s never too early to educate them in the spirit of freedom of speech, of opinions and choices.
Surely, there are matters that we decide between ourselves and don’t consult her on, but we make sure, that once a decision is made, we will communicate it to her as well. In this case, of choosing the right nanny, I find that her involvement throughout the process is essential. After all, she will be spending a lot of time with this person, so it better be a nice, respectful, jovial, interesting, resilient, witty lady. I mean, who would want a boring companion? Not to mention, a shy, non-talkative or God forbid, a violent one?
This is really a crucial point in our lives, but I’m sure we will get through it. Together.
And I too, shall surpass my tormenting separation angst. These thoughts help me: “I trust my daughter! I trust her instincts and mine!”
So, fingers crossed, today we are meeting two candidates.
See you later! Have a good one!