The Other Side of Truth

I was talking to Venom the other day about a frustrating situation that has been on my mind lately, one that keeps me up at night and makes me wonder which way to choose: to be tolerant and keep one eye closed on the one side or to speak up the ugly truth on the other side. Ideally, a mix between the two would be great – that’s why I’m thinking about it so much.

You see, I have this friend whom I truly love for a myriad of reasons, but who constantly lets me down and acts all reckless whenever things don’t go his way. With everything I’ve read so far, on personal development and spiritual self-discovery, it gets a bit scary for me, as I once came to the conclusion that, that what we hate most in other people are the exact same things that we dislike in ourselves. So if he, my friend is acting foolishly and changing his mind every two seconds, then probably in a way he’s my loyal reflection in the mirror and I do these things too. So much for personal branding! Haha!

Anyway, talking to Venom, made me realize that it’s not all white or black and that there are a lot of grey aspects to this nail-biting problem (just a manner of speaking…I never was a fan of biting my nails). In fact, even if I was doing these things – which by the way, I now keep an eye on – doesn’t spare me the ingrate mission, as a firm believer in sincere friendship, to go see my friend and put the cards on the table. In other words, I feel it’s time to be an adult about it and to tell him what’s bothering me instead of avoiding this subject until he does it again. The truth is that he is way too sensitive and that I am way too coward afraid to hurt him in any way.

But I realize that holding on to this will only eat into our friendship day by day and will bring no good to either one of us.

So, with all risks taken, I believe that if our friendship is strong and solid enough we will get through it, even if that means he may not agree with me in the first place, or will avoid me or just stay mad at me for a couple of days. It’s something I owe to myself and to our friendship: to speak in all honesty and break down the problem once and for all.

God, I wish I had a magic stick and make it all just go away.

Friends, do share: how do you handle similar situations? How do you speak the ugly truth to someone you hold dear?



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