Clover’s Quick Update: Where I stand today

Looking forward

Dear friends,

No wonder it’s the dawn of a new era: two of my notebooks – my journal and my day-to-day agenda are full. As in no blank page left. Full full.

At this stage of my life, at age 31, I’m experiencing (after a very long time) peacefulness. Serenity. Quiet time. Comfort. I am at ease with everything I am and everything I have lived so far. And I must admit: it feels w o n d e r f u  l. Truly wonderful. Awesome.

Sure, there are a gazillion thoughts running through my head 24/7 and yes, my ego keeps showing up every now and then, just to remind me of its limiting (and limited!) existence.

However, no matter what I’m experiencing – be it hectic days, traffic jams, moody people, I somehow manage to find my way back to peace & quiet. There are less and less things/situations that are bothering me at the moment. I simply seem to find my way through them and to avoid getting in my ego’s skillfully directed dramas.

I know better now. In fact, I’m running the show now, after three decades of my existence, when fear and therefore my ego, were pulling the ropes. Now it’s my time.

You see, I believe that each and every one of us goes through the same rite of passage. At first, life is what happens to us. Or at least that’s what it seems: a never-ending struggle of making it, surviving it and coping with it. But then, after the shift takes place, life becomes what we make of it. We become aware of our power to create, to design and to decide what our life should be.

I am at that point right now: creating, learning, exploring, deciding. It’s that time of my existence when life is here to be lived and enjoyed, as much as I can and as often as I can. Moment by moment.

Yes, it’s a huge responsibility and sure thing, it’s overwhelming. But in a positive way, not in a decide-and-then-run-as-fast-as-you-can kind of way.

Responsibility implies most of all, presence. I am present now in my life as I have never been before.

Responsibility implies surrender, as in I trust myself and I trust life, so nothing can go wrong. Everything is and will be as it should be.

Responsibility implies co-creation. That’s my favorite part: creating and deciding who I want to be and what I want to be to this world, and then let Life take me by surprise. Between you and me: Life has always a better plan for us (wink! wink!).

At this point you are probably asking yourself:”Okay, how do I do that? How do I reach that point in my own life?”. The thing is, my dear readers, the answer is different for every one of us and it depends on how much we are willing to learn and how much we are willing to let go of.

For me, it was all about inner work, daily inner work: introspection, reflection, surrender, faith, forgiveness, journaling and forging into the depths and lows of my soul, while searching for light in the dark.

I made it. I know now that I am on the right track. I feel it with all my being, that I am on the one and only road to self-discovery and self-empowerment. And yes, I understand that it’s a long journey ahead of me and yet, it’s the most amazing & biggest adventure of my life so far.

Should you be interested in taking the plunge and diving into the depths of your own soul and by that, taking your life back, I encourage you to look within. Always look within yourself. That’s where all your answers are.

Stay tuned! Tomorrow I’ll be sharing with you the best decision of my life so far!
Can’t wait!

Hugs & kisses,

*Photo credit & source: James Carpenter